Christmas Humor

First, thanks to Diane and Marsha over on the EMS Cross Stitch Board for The Monks (click on the monk picture for the video).

Then, to share my favorite version of The Twelve Days After Christmas (click on the choir picture for the video)- if you want to see the lyrics, you can find them here.

Still in the humor line - we all have terminology that we use quite casually - and sometimes forget that not everyone will understand what we mean. As a cross stitcher, when I think of floss - I think of embroidery thread - usually DMC or Anchor brands. Ann (in the UK) pictured some floss wallets she had made - and then explained them - which reminded me of when I first became a Floss Mom - my DH listened patiently to me talking about my Floss Kids all over the world - and then, quite seriously, asked, "Don't their dentists give them free samples?".

Thanks for visiting today.

Found in my email this morning. If one or more don’t sound familiar – you weren’t paying attention!

I Owe My Mother

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC .
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTION-ISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home .."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home !"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

And my favorite:

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

And I must add my favorite Bigmama-ism, who taught me WATER SAFETY:
“I don’t want you going near that pool until you learn how to swim!”

What did your mother teach you?

Thanks for visiting my blog today.